I have a funny, annoying habit with my car. I wait until it is on the last drop of gasoline before filling it up. (I’m sorry Mom). Usually that last drop is being used as I drive to work (late, and on a Monday morning of course). This typical pattern repeated yesterday for me and as I went to the cashier to pay I snooped at what the man in front of me was buying. It was 7am so, naturally, he was grabbing a breakfast on the go…
He selected a manly Full Throttle Energy Drink and a Chocolate Special K Protein Bar with “Added Protein”.
The Full Throttle Drink claims to be the “hardest working energy drink on the block”. Because DUH, our bodies weren’t made to work hard on their own. How will we possibly sit on our bums all day surfing the ‘net without an energy drink pumping through our veins to keep our eyes plastered open? Even more puzzling, how did our ancestors hunt in the wild, trek thousands of miles across sometimes frozen terrain, and still have enough energy to build a fire without a FULL THROTTLE???
I guess I’ll never know.
The Special K Bar is actually, in my opinion, more terrifying. Ingredients are listed here(I’ve highlighted the most mouthwatering ones): COATING (SUGAR, PARTIALLY HYDROGENATED PALM KERNEL OIL?, COCOA PROCESSED WITH ALKALI, WHEY, NONFAT DRY MILK, SOY LECITHIN, SORBITAN MONOSTEARATE, SALT, POLYSORBATE 60, ARTIFICIAL FLAVOR), CORN SYRUP, SOY PROTEIN ISOLATE, FRUCTOSE, SUGAR, RICE FLOUR, SEMISWEET CHOCOLATE (SUGAR, CHOCOLATE, COCOA BUTTER), TOFFEE BITS (SUGAR, BUTTER [CREAM, SALT], CRISP RICE [RICE FLOUR, SUGAR, MALT EXTRACT, SALT, RICE BRAN], CORN SYRUP, SWEETENED CONDENSED SKIM MILK [SUGAR, SKIM MILK], SALT), SOYBEAN AND PALM OIL WITH TBHQ FOR FRESHNESS, SOY PROTEIN CONCENTRATE, WHEY PROTEIN ISOLATE, CONTAINS TWO PERCENT OR LESS OF INULIN, COCOA PROCESSED WITH ALKALI, MAGNESIUM PHOSPHATE, TRICALCIUM PHOSPHATE, NONFAT DRY MILK, NATURAL AND ARTIFICIAL FLAVOR, SALT, GELATIN, GLYCERIN, MALT EXTRACT, SODIUM ASCORBATE (VITAMIN C), VITAMIN E ACETATE, SOY LECITHIN, VITAMIN A PALMITATE, NIACINAMIDE, PYRIDOXINE HYDROCHLORIDE (VITAMIN B6), THIAMIN HYDROCHLORIDE (VITAMIN B1), RIBOFLAVIN (VITAMIN B2), ALMOND FLOUR, PARTIALLY DEFATTED PEANUT FLOUR, WHEAT STARCH, VITAMIN B12. ?LESS THAN 0.5g TRANS FAT PER SERVING
You know what I say to myself every morning when I wake up? “Oh yum, I am really craving some partially defatted peanut flour with alkali processed cocoa sprinkled on top.”
In honor of this man’s breakfast I thought I would post some of my favorite breakfasts in hopes that he reads this and decides to wake up half an hour earlier and feed his body some deliciousness rather than sorbitan monosterate….
1. Coconut Flour Pancakes – I have tried A LOT of recipes using coconut flour. This is by far the best. You wouldn’t be able to distinguish the difference between conventional pancakes…Scout’s Honor. (Oh and use this recipe for waffles too!) I topped mine with coconut milk whipped cream.
2. Egg and Bacon Sammy (w/ coconut flour bun)
3. Choose Your Own Adventure Fritatta – This is an adventure, no joke. Throw some combo of veggies into a pan, saute until soft, and then pour whisked egg right on top. Cooke 5ish minutes and then put under your broiler for 1-2 minutes. Top with feta if you’re Megan and you are addicted to Feta.
My favorite combos:
Onion/Bell Pepper/Tomato/Green Chile
So cheers to the Full Throttle/Special K breakfast….and also to my alternatives